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Healthy Confrontation

This past Wednesday during our youth group bible study, we gleaned from Jesus’ teachings in Matthew 7:1-5 about our role in passing judgment on others and healthy ways to confront our brothers and sisters when the need arises. I gave a list of tools that could help foster loving, healthy, humble confrontation.

Here they are:

1. Make sure your own heart is right with God before you confront someone.

2. Pray for the person that needs to be confronted.

3. Set up a time with the person to talk, in private without interruption, but don’t put it off.

4. When the occasion calls for it, confront immediately.

5. Don’t take out your own anger on someone.

6. Begin with a word of encouragement.

7. Ask the person, “If I could share something with you that would help you, would you want me to?”

8. State the issue as you see it. Give your perspective on the issue. Say, “This is the way I see it, please help me to understand.” Admit that maybe you misunderstood or got the wrong perspective.

9. Ask how you can help the person.

10. Be confidential.

11. Pray for the person.

I read a quote yesterday from POTSC that I have been unable to shake and is fitting with regards to confrontation:
“Grace is like cooking a gourmet dinner. The kitchen might get messy, but the end result makes everything worth it”

These are, of course, only tools for you. What others could we add to the list?

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